By Stormie Sanchez, Staff Reporter
I’m not from Mars. I hear things, and when word started spreading around the neighborhood about this Coronavirus, I listened. All of my pals keep moaning about how bad it is, how scary it is, how the world will change forever after this, and I’m here to ask you, is change so bad? From my point of view, it’s great. Let me explain.
So, I’ve got this old lady, and she doesn’t know how to listen, it’s as if we are speaking two different languages. I ask her to stay home, but she is always running around. It’s like I need to put her on a leash to keep track of her. Anyways, the T.V. tells her to stay, and she listens. How do they train her to do that? Anyways, now she can’t go anywhere, and no one can come over, I’ve got her all to myself, and it’s great. We haven’t spent this much time together since it was just puppy love.
Now let me tell you about food. She worries about me, the sweetheart, but this stuff she was bringing home, that was supposed to be good for my heart? Kibble. Absolutely horrible. Now she is cooking every day. Sometimes three times a day, and I’m talking real food. Eggs? Burgers? You name it, I get to eat it, and if that isn’t worth this quarantine alone, I’ll give you more reasons to start seeing things my way.
My old lady has always been into spin class, and I’m glad she is getting exercise, but I have never really liked bikes you see, and now, we are going for walks every day. There is nothing better than taking an early morning walk with your favorite woman. When the sun hits the grey sidewalk just right, and everything smells amazing. I lose track of time.
The next one I know my pals will understand. Two words, heavy petting. She was always generous in that department, but now it’s every day. I don’t feel like I have to persuade you here, we all know how great that is.
Lastly, and this is the big one, I’ve always tried to protect my old lady. When I tell her I just want to keep her safe, she gets annoyed and tells me to quit my yapping, but that’s all changed. I don’t like seeing her scared, I’m not a sadist, but I like feeling needed. When she is watching the T.V. and gets that worried look on her face, she pulls me close, and I see the anxiety melt away from her face, the best feeling in the world. All I am saying is a chihuahua could get used to this.