By Shawn McCrea, Staff Reporter
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the biggest fan of scary movies. Holding my breath in anticipation and screeching at jump scares on a Saturday night isn’t my favorite thing to do. However, there’s a certain lure that I feel toward the paranormal horror movie genre.
Does this make me a masochist because I like to suffer through the endorphins from watching Samara crab-crawl out of a well? Probably. Ghosts, aliens and demons that go bump in the night though? Sign me up! But if there’s one thing that doesn’t go bump in the night, it’s “Brahms: The Boy II.”
“Brahms: The Boy II” is a horror thriller sequel to 2016’s “The Boy.” The same screenwriter and director were brought back for this sequel. That could be a good thing since “The Boy” was a cult classic, except there was absolutely nothing from the original movie’s script that demanded a sequel; the plotlines were all tied into a nice, horrorful bow.
No spoilers for “The Boy,” but there is no logical explanation as to why Brahms is back. The masterminds behind “The Boy II” are betraying the good ideas that made “The Boy” what it is by insisting, “No, really, believe us; Brahms really is a haunted doll.”
The story opens with a home invasion that leaves Liza (Katie Holmes, “Dawson’s Creek”) a paranoid wreck and leaves her son, Jude (Christopher Convery, “Stranger Things”) so traumatized that he won’t even speak.
So, the family moves out to the countryside, to a little place known as the Heelshire Estate, for a change of scenery. (For those of you who haven’t seen the first movie, “The Boy” takes place in the Heelshire estate.)
After a leisurely stroll around the property, Liza and the Oblivious Husband, Sean (Owain Yeoman, “The Mentalist”) stumble across the now-decrepit Heelshire mansion, while Jude finds a creepy porcelain doll buried in the dirt.
Mom lets the kid keep the doll, which doesn’t make much sense logically. Because, gee, I wonder why it was buried there in the first place?
Then, Brahms and Jude become the very best of friends. And queue the most clichéd, yawn-worthy horror movie script writing — complete with several “it was only a nightmare” moments.
This movie was like lukewarm, week-old, soggy corned beef hash warmed up in the microwave.
With only a few half-hearted, cheap “jump scares” and little else of substance, it was a sad attempt at a sequel. The writers might be trying to insist that Brahms is real, but the only real thing about this movie was the struggle I had to stay awake.
With all the other creepy doll flicks out there, (I’m looking at you Annabelle and Chucky), why the people who paid for and approved this movie thought saturating the horror genre with one more creepy doll movie was a good idea is beyond me. I think it’s best to leave Brahms to rest in the toy chest.
Giving this movie anything over two stars is generous. Do yourself a favor and save your $10 and go bowling or something. If you really want to see this rehashed horror flick, wait for it to come out on DVD. At least then, you can cringe over the fact that Katie Holmes puts a glass of water on a glass tabletop without a coaster, in the privacy of your own home.