Student shares struggles:

TASHANA SMITH: Ranger Columnist.

By Tashana Smith:

There are people that tend to place a stigma on those that have a mental illness. They tend to call them “crazy,” or “insane” or say they have “just lost their mind.” Trust me, I know, I have dealt with mental illness my entire life.

I first tried to commit suicide when I was nine years old. I know that at the age of nine I should be spending the night with friends and not have a worry in the world.  But I guess you can say that I was not like normal children. I was bullied in school and I didn’t know who to talk to about it, so I just wanted to end it all. I felt like it would be better if I weren’t around.

I spent my entire childhood in and out of psychiatric hospitals. It went from me trying to cut my throat to swallowing a bottle of pills. I got to the point to where I just didn’t want to live anymore. I wanted to give up. I couldn’t take the bullying, I didn’t have anyone to talk to besides my mom and I felt so alone.

I was finally discharged from Big Springs State Hospital when I was 17 years old and I have not gone back since. I don’t know why I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder, but I do believe that God has a purpose for everything that has happened in my life.

I am a student at AC, and although I have had my share of struggles as a student, I will not give up.

I wanted to share my story because there might be someone out there struggling with mental illness and not know where to turn or who to turn to.

I just wanted to send some encouragement your way to let you know that you can always find someone to talk to. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

2 Comments

  1. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story! Amarillo College offers free mental health counseling to any currently enrolled student. If you are a student and can relate to these feelings, please contact us to schedule an appointment! The Amarillo College Counseling Center can be reached at 371-5900.

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