EDITORIAL: Frolic through AC’s parking lots!

Illustration by Troy Cartwright
Illustration by Troy Cartwright
Illustration by Troy Cartwright

Why is everyone griping about parking? Haven’t you had the pleasure of sleeping through the alarm, having car trouble, skipping breakfast, running late and arriving at school only to find that last on-campus parking spot was taken by someone still learning how to drive?

That would be the ultimate surprise, wouldn’t it? Just think of the bonding possibilities. Extra talk time with instructors, giving someone a piece of your mind and walking in late with a classmate so they aren’t embarrassed, too, are great ways to show that sharing is caring. Broaden your minds, people.

Have you never found a parking ticket on your windshield after lecture because you parked on the corner by the science building so you wouldn’t get soaked in the downpour as you ran to class because your professor threatened to drop your grade a full point if you were late again? It’s the best.

To the officers who give us those gifts, thank you. It’s a great way to make friends and influence people. We could learn a thing or two from you.

Nursing student Muriel Flores said her Monday and Tuesday mornings almost always involve a walk through West Campus’ “field.” Who doesn’t want to wake up to a lovely morning walk? Right? Imagine how excited students and faculty would be if they could do that every morning. We could plan picnics and everything.

Brandi Craig, also a nursing major, loves taking her vehicle muddin’, so she “pops the curb” every chance she gets. Bet she’s a real hit with the fellas since everyone knows that dudes dig chicks that go off-roading. And seriously, adding some asphalt and a few driveways would totally defeat the purpose of four-wheel drive. It’s not brain surgery.

Playing “Where’s Waldo? with the parking spaces is awesome. Maybe AC could make things more interesting by selling more land so we’d have even fewer parking options. Then everyone could park in “the desert” like occupational therapist assistant Jamie Davis does.

Just imagine: We could hire camels for caravan rides like they do in Egypt. Wouldn’t that be fun? We could even sell tickets to kids in the community like they do at the fair. That should make everyone happy. And who wouldn’t want to go to a school where the students love their parking options so much they have pet names for them?

Illustration by Troy Cartwright
Graphic by Hannah Overton

We’re also blown away when students complain about the free exercise they get walking miles to class. Don’t they know AC could charge for that? It’s worth at least one credit per semester. It must be painful to give it away for free. Please give them a shout-out to let them know you appreciate their concern for your health and well-being.

Who needs more parking? Moving to larger parcels of land or building multi-level parking structures so no student has to hike through someone’s yard to get to class would be utterly inconvenient and a total waste of funding. Besides, neighbors would miss the elegant, student-created footpaths going through their yards onto campus. Homeowners actually enjoy interacting with students on their way to class, especially when they leave art deco from coffee shops, convenience stores and grocers in their yards.

Students really should step back and take a reality check here. It would be a real disservice to AC if people thought they didn’t care about their students’ needs. If every higher education organization took care of its students’ needs as well as AC does, the world would be a much happier place indeed.

Thank you, AC. We love you.

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