Valentine’s Day is often painted in soft colors and big gestures like flowers, heart-shaped candy, romantic dinners and picture-perfect posts. But beneath the glitter and gift wrap is a quieter, more important truth. Love is not supposed to hurt.
Healthy relationships are not something most of us are simply born knowing how to build. We learn through experience, observation, mistakes and growth. That learning process deserves patience and compassion. Still, there are some foundational truths worth naming.
We, the Ranger staff, want to remind everyone that healthy relationships are built on safety, respect and communication. Anything that consistently undermines those pillars deserves attention.
According to a 2025 report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, dating violence is sometimes dismissed as a “normal part of a relationship.” Teasing and name-calling can become abusive and escalate into something more serious.
One of the most important relationship skills we can develop is recognizing red flags. Red flags do not always appear dramatically. They often start small and grow gradually, making them easier to dismiss.
Control is one of the most common warning signs. This can look like someone dictating what you wear, who you spend your time with or how you express yourself. It can also show up as constant monitoring, guilt-tripping or pressure to change fundamental parts of who you are. Control is not care.
Isolation is another red flag. If a partner discourages or interferes with your relationship with friends, family or support systems, that behavior deserves serious concern. Healthy partners do not compete with your support network. They encourage it.
Disrespect can appear in many forms: insults disguised as jokes, dismissing your feelings, mocking your interests or refusing to listen when you express discomfort. Disrespect does not become acceptable just because it is subtle or inconsistent.
Inconsistent behavior is also worth paying attention to. Extreme highs followed by sudden emotional withdrawal, broken promises or shifting standards can leave someone constantly guessing. Relationships should feel stable, not emotional whiplash.
While red flags warn us what to avoid, green flags show us what healthy love actually looks like.
Mutual support is another key indicator. Healthy partners celebrate your successes, show up during your hard moments and want to see you grow, even when that growth does not directly benefit them.
Clear communication matters. This does not mean never disagreeing. It means being able to talk openly, listen actively and address conflict without fear. Disagreements should feel safe, not threatening.
Boundaries are also essential. A healthy relationship honors personal limits around time, space, privacy and emotional capacity. Boundaries are not walls; they are expressions of self-respect.
Recognizing red flags can be painful, especially when feelings are involved. If you notice concerning patterns, you do not have to face them alone. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, mentor or counselor. Many campuses offer confidential counseling services for students who need support. That includes our own Amarillo College campus. National hotlines and online resources are also available 24/7 for guidance and crisis assistance.
As a community, we must continue normalizing conversations about relationship health. Silence allows harm to grow. Honest dialogue creates space for safety and change.
Perhaps most importantly, every person deserves healthy love. You deserve to feel safe. You deserve to feel heard. You deserve respect, kindness and care that does not come with conditions.
Love is not proven through control. Love is not proven through suffering. Love is not proven by how much pain you can tolerate.
This Valentine’s season, we encourage readers to expand the definition of romance. Let it include self-respect. Let it include boundaries. Let it include the courage to walk away from what harms you and the courage to ask for help.
Valentine’s Day is not about perfection.
It is about respect.
Leave a Reply