By Kyra Peek
Staff Reporter
When we enter a room, our instinct is to look around and assess who’s there. We subconsciously decide which version of ourselves to present based on who we think is watching.
This makes me question whether or not we can ever really know a person if we are constantly curating the version of ourselves that others get to see. The fear of judgment can make it feel impossible to be 100% ourselves at all times.
Most of us have a wall built up, revealing only about 10% of who we are in any given situation. The way we are treated in that moment determines which 10% others see. The other 90% of our true selves lies beneath the surface, hidden in our hardships, our hurt and our reactions to life’s challenges. Our true colors often emerge in those hard times, revealing who we are at our core.
I have what some people would refer to as “road rage.” Now, imagine being cut off in traffic; we all have a choice of how we react — with anger and retaliation, or with understanding and grace. Another person’s actions doesn’t excuse us returning fire. As we grow in who we are, the ability to realize the opportunity to be the bigger person will always arise. But, that growth also grants us the ability to decipher between being the bigger person and not being a doormat. We choose, in that moment, which part of our authentic selves we show.
Speaking of being authentic, we tend to show the best part of ourselves on social media to look good, to feel accepted. We post the best photos of ourselves in front of the most Insta-worthy views, with the best angle. We choose the best three photos out of the 100 that were taken. This can lead to insecurity because we’re not being understood for our true selves — only for the version we carefully curate. In that way, we don’t accept ourselves.
But we can only keep this charade up for so long.
This is where the conversation shifts to the importance of authenticity. We’d likely grow closer to others, and more of who we really are if we would start to let our shine through. If we did, it might save us from fake friendships. But the reality is, we’re too scared. We don’t want to give anyone the opportunity to validate our deepest fears. Somewhere along the way, we’ve internalized the idea that we should fear who we are
If someone doesn’t love you for who you are, they are not for you! When you come to notice that you start to see that just because someone isn’t in the next chapter doesn’t mean the book closes. Which is okay because finding yourself means losing the things holding you back, but always remembering the lesson they taught you. But you’ll never know if you keep hiding from yourself.
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